


emotionalism

by parabragun



Series: dualism [4]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: IM OUT, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-17 23:08:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11278665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parabragun/pseuds/parabragun
Summary: yusaku apologizes to ai, additional much-needed comfort and healing ensues (part ii of alienism/emotionalism)





	emotionalism

**Author's Note:**

> YES BITCH!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> okay i think i killed jay so the next chapter is light-hearted. i promise

The transition from cold to warm wasn’t exactly smooth, but Yusaku was glad to be back inside regardless. Now, he mustn’t keep Ai nor Kusanagi waiting longer than they should have to. He walks back to his room, shuffling his feet while trying to find some words so he wouldn’t freeze up. Yusaku quiets his steps a few feet away from the door, and peeked in to check up. He wouldn’t be surprised if Ai _actually_ fell asleep.

 

Not to his surprise, Ai was still sitting there. But this time he was facing vaguely towards the door, and not against the wall. He was sitting with his legs bent and his head sunk low in his knees. He stared at the floor with a longing sense of loneliness, and drew circles in the hardwood.

 

Yusaku hesitated taking the first step in, but once Ai glanced up at him, he knew he couldn’t back out from it. He walked slowly, and Ai directed his attention back to the floor, where he tapped in the middle of the invisible circles he drew. Yusaku sat in front of him, a few feet for good measure, to let know Ai he wasn’t trying to push him.

 

Awkward silence. Yusaku was trying to find some words beforehand, but I never said he found any, did I? Ai was rocking a little.

 

Nevertheless, he began. “So…about, what happened,” he was cut short by Ai speaking. But his face was still in his knees, so it came out as mumbling.

 

“Wh… Come again?”

 

“I’m… sorry,”

 

He...he didn’t actually expect Ai to say it first. Usually, when they got into fights, they would sit on opposite sides of the room and not speak, just like they did this time. But it was over things a lot more minor, and Ai would fake being cold just because he was a stubborn baby. Yusaku was always the one who would go over to _him_ and apologize, and then everything would be fine. But it didn’t sound like Ai was trying to fake anything. Not for sympathy, not for the sake of his pride. And it made Yusaku a little more than surprised.

 

Hm. “Is that all?”

 

That ring any bells?

 

Ai lifted his head up, but still stared at the floor. “I’m sorry, for being stupid, and making you yell at me.”

 

_‘Oh, no, Ai, you weren’t being stupid, we both were, I don’t blame you for that..’_

 

“I lost all those matches fair and square. I was being a little more than reckless, and I think I broke something..”

 

_‘Your pride is everything to you, you have a right to be frustrated, tables can be replaced… ’_

 

“I never meant for things to go this far, so…” Ai straightened his legs, eyes unblinking, yet voice wavering.

 

“I’m… really sorry.”

 

_‘Oh god damn it Ai, stop sounding like you’re about to cry. I know you can’t because I didn’t add tear ducts to you but I’m still worried, please please please don’t--’_

 

Multiple pangs stabbed at Yusaku’s heart. If he weren’t feeling like _this_ , they would be almost painless, but now, god did they ever hurt so so badly. He didn’t want this. What he wanted was the normal Ai, the smug tone, his signature snicker which rang out through Yusaku’s mind, his unmatchable obstinance which proved to be handy in some situations. Should he really be getting this emotional over something like this? Maybe not, maybe this is weak of him but, he knew so well that at least part of, if not all of this, was his fault. And that’s what he hated most.

 

Yusaku lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Ai almost like instinct. They were still in the corner, so it was cramped, but he didn’t care. This is all he could think to do, he couldn’t do anything else, he didn’t _want_ to do anything else. The only thing that would solve this is holding Ai and letting him know that he cares. He _does_ care about him, sure, on his best days it was hard to believe that, and on his worst it was hard to believe if he ever did. Ai knows full well that Yusaku is bad at showing emotion, he’s bad at talking to others, or approaching them, and he’s even worse at communication.

 

But Ai knows that he _cares_ . Because he’s seen a side to Yusaku that he wouldn’t show to anyone besides his own family. Ai didn’t look it, but he isn’t in the best state either. He also has problems with lots of things. Two of which were his need for attention and kindness and his fear of abandonment. This hug only serves as a reminder, because Ai has bad days too, and he can forget this. He wishes he could tell him everything he thinks about him but, _damn, words are hard_ , Yusaku thinks.

 

Yusaku, still trying to find some words, _any_ words, pulled Ai closer to him and squeezed him tight. Ai took the cue to do the same, while he nestled his head into Yusaku’s shoulder. Ai made a few muffled noises, Yusaku couldn’t exactly describe them, but they made his heart pang even more painful than before.

 

_‘It’s okay, if you can’t cry, Ai. I can, I need to, I’ll cry enough for the both of us, okay?’_

 

Aaaand now. Yusaku didn’t even make an effort to hold his waterworks back, and they both tickled and stung as they flowed down his face. This is a human body’s natural response to bottled up feelings, and he always felt better afterwards, but damn, did it ever feel weird and embarrassing. The tears dripped from his cheeks and onto Ai’s back, but Ai was made of gallium, so he didn’t worry about him possibly fizzing out. Yusaku, _still_ not having found any reaction, muttered a few “Ai”s between sniffles and sobs. Ai lifted his head and squeezed his partner back, and lifted a hand to rub his back, soothing the other. In circles, of course.

 

Yusaku didn’t know how to say sorry. He didn’t know how he was going to. But that was okay. Ai knew. Ai knew so well, because although Yusaku was always so secretive, even if not on purpose, Ai could read him like an open book. And he knows Yusaku has a lot on his mind, he has a lot to say, but can’t say it. But that’s alright, because he knows. He always has, and he always will. He just forgets he can sometimes, is all. Confident that his efforts had at least somewhat calmed Yusaku down, he smushed his “mouth” against his shoulder (That was supposed to be a kiss. Yusaku didn’t design him with a damn mouth. It counted. He swears it did.)

 

A bit after, Yusaku stopped crying, but he didn’t let go of Ai. There were some sniffles here and there, but he didn’t want to do anything else. He didn’t want to talk, he didn’t want to get up, he just wanted to hold and be held by his, might I mention, warm, boyfriend, because when things were like this, it’s as if time stops only for the two of them. Everything in the world feels so trivial, and times like these fill Yusaku with hope to keep having moments like these, which is just what he needs sometimes.

  


Outside, Kusanagi is probably freezing.

**Author's Note:**

> don't ship adults with minors LOOKING AT YOU XION


End file.
